Nie zrobię smutnego filmu
(I won't make a sad film)2020 - Film: 07:15 - Patrycja Loranc
Patrycja Loranc works with experimental film and moving image, incorporating explorations in photography, writing, performance, and sound. Her projects to date venture into correlations of moving image and verbal language, as well as ways in which film represents and affects the senses and consciousness, inspired by various artistic, philosophical, psychological, scientific, and cultural contexts. Fascinated by verbally unexplainable phenomenas and aspects of human experience, and the potential for their expression in the language of moving image, her works are concerned with themes of self-reflection, variety of states of consciousness, identity within the world, nature, and existence itself. Open and excited for further collaborations, she also works a freelance editor.
www.psychepoeticlaundrette.com
‘Nie zrobię smutnego filmu
(I won't make a sad film)’
Text by Rhiana Bonterre
Patrycja describes her film, Nie zrobię smutnego filmu (I won't make a sad film) as ‘an exploration of distant family relationships and finding balance in the awareness of the private space and one’s own company’. It was inspired by the Buddhist philosophy of living in the present moment, and was made during and in reflection of the lockdown period within the UK. Living in the present moment is something that I have personally been resonating with deeply, particularly with the restrictions that Covid 19 brought in the past year. Because of this, a great deal of what Patrycja expresses so beautifully through the contrasting visuals and her own voice which we hear throughout her project feels familiar to me, and I find myself connecting with our experiences despite the difference in our realities, as I feel many people who watch the film will experience. I will therefore be exploring her film through the gaze of my own interpretation and perception.
Back There, Out There, and Here Now are titles of the sections that the film is split into, and the lettering appears on the screen as each one begins. The way that she projects aspects of her past, followed by the uncertainty of the future and finally depicting the gentle comfort in witnessing life as it happens, no matter how mundane it may appear, feels like an authentic and raw exploration of the different stages of thought and reflection one may feel obliged to confront in their continued isolation. But throughout the film, there is a strong sense of witnessing rather than being fully engulfed and consumed in the thoughts that this reflection may stir up. This tone is evident in the title itself, I Won’t Make a Sad Film. To me, it prompts an intention to explore things that may appear to be sad, without attaching that narrative to the deliverance of this exploration. As Patrycja recalls moments in time of her trip back to her home country, Poland, and the realities of the distant relationship with her family, her gaze is one of acceptance and non resistance.
In addition to this, the reflection of ‘home’ and what that the word connotes is particularly interesting to me. There can be a sort of romantic perception of what returning home after a long time may feel like, but with growth, distance and the transition from childhood to adulthood, the reality of what type of fulfilment you receive from being home tends to change. I think Patrycja captured this idea perfectly. Combined with this, she continues to emphasise that she is observing, rather than being drawn in emotionally. She uses photographs filmed at different angles, and at times close enough to see the texture of the paper behind the images. We also witness birds sitting on a telephone line as the camera lingers, and then pans slowly. They are snippets, moments that we see, just as we hear the moments she retells through the voiceover, such as meeting her parents for coffee, alone, and her friends reaction to this. I almost feel like I am in her mind, witnessing the thoughts that come up as she does, and the images that may come to mind alongside it.
With the part of the film entitled Out there we see Patrycja for the first time as she looks directly into the camera, coming in and out on both sides of the split screen. She is outside now in the darkness, we flow with her as she looks up at the moon and then down, below her, at the table. To me, these visuals prompt the question of ‘What could be?’ There is a dual feeling of limitation (the furthest you could go is your own garden) and infinite possibility that goes hand in hand with the unknown, the abstract, things that are not fully understood or definite. We hear Patrycja’s voice saying, ’Chaos of conflicts reveal itself as many aspects of the same reality… my past is a part of me yet I am, now’. This resonates with me deeply, it is as if one is gazing at oneself and recognising the things that contribute to who you are, but understanding how much more you are than just that. The reality that you are here, now, in this moment, can put into focus the infinite and undefinable nature of your existence alone, and in being able to observe this can bring an acceptance to the multitudes of aspects within your identity.
The final part of the film fully indulges in the idea of witnessing. The smoke of incense swirls into the air for a few moments before we see another scene - the subtle specs of dust drifting into the light. As we change from moment to moment, so does the sound and we are visually and aurally guided through Patrycja’s lock down reality, the things she observes, the music that plays in the background and the gentle knowing that ‘now’ is where we are, and all there is. As I feel myself becoming more and more absorbed into the scene, a mans voice echoes throughout it in an old-fashioned yet strong tone, ‘Fully aware and not thinking’.
Patrycja’s project is so profound in the gentlest of ways. She articulates her own experiences so beautifully and in a way that feels individual to her, while still being able to shape something that is fully understood by and connects with a variety of different people. I think everyone should watch it !
Read Patrycja’s essay on Rhiana Bonterre’s work HERE.
